


routine

by wpjeanprouvaires



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anxiety, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Nightmares, but like in a gay way, ronan/adam is hinted at
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wpjeanprouvaires/pseuds/wpjeanprouvaires
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gansey has nightmares. Ronan knows how to deal with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	routine

The nightmare was the same as usual, the dark trees bending over him as the sound of tiny wings buzzing in his ears, his clothes, his mouth, overtook him entirely. As he always did, he woke with the first sting, just inside his ear. Waking up from this dream was hell, thrown from sleep as if thrown from a plane, palms clamped over his ears. His whole body shook as he curled into a ball on his side and waited for it to pass. This was routine.

When he could move, Gansey pushed himself upright, still trembling. He grabbed for his wireframes on the nightstand and shoved them on his face, feeling the dry ghosts of tears from God knows how long ago. This was routine.

Working on his miniature Henrietta sounded like a good plan, but he knew that he needed the company of someone else tonight. Insomnia was workable. Anxiety was not. Noah was nowhere to be found, but quiet squawking came from under Ronan’s door. It seemed like the best choice.

Gansey did not knock when he reached Ronan’s room. He pushed the door open to see Ronan laying on his bed, his arms crossed over his chest and headphones covering his ears. Celtic music blasted, and Chainsaw perched on his stomach, her head tilted as if listening. Gansey knew Ronan was not asleep.

He was quiet as he closed the door and made his way across the room, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. When it dipped, Ronan’s eyes opened and Chainsaw hopped around to glare at the intruder.

“Ever think to knock, Dick?” Ronan asked in a tone that said he was not offended, pushing his headphones down around his neck. He sat up straighter and Chainsaw gave a small noise that said she _was_ offended, taking off to the other side of the room where she sat on a dresser with her feathers ruffled in a show of protest.

“Would you have heard me?” Gansey asked in a tone that said he was trying to joke.

Ronan raised a thin eyebrow. “Did you have the dream again?”

Gansey nodded, pulling his feet up onto the bed.

Ronan moved, making more room for Gansey. Gansey scooted backwards so that he leaned against the wall, his feet dangling over the side of the bed. Ronan shifted so that he sat beside Gansey, their shoulders touching. Gansey could hear the music coming from Ronan’s headphones and he swallowed hard.

“Ever wonder where you’d be if none of this had happened?” Ronan asked. Gansey said nothing, but Ronan knew the answer. If Gansey hadn’t died, if Noah hadn’t died, if Niall Lynch hadn’t died, there’s no telling where any of them would be.

“You’re still shaking,” Ronan said, nudging Gansey with his elbow gently. “You’re awake now. Everything’s swell.”

“Did you just say ‘swell’?”

“Do you have a problem with the word ‘swell’? You can fuck right off, Richard.”

Gansey leaned down, laying his head on Ronan’s shoulder. Ronan turned his head a microscopic amount, letting Gansey’s hair tickle his chin.

“Do you want to go somewhere?”

Gansey shook his head.

“Do you want a drink? Do you want to call Blue, or…” Adam’s name did not leave Ronan’s lips, but the idea of it hung in the air between them. Ronan went still as if he’d misspoken. He knew there was no hiding his attraction for Adam, but he should at least be able to say his _name…_

Gansey shook his head again, craning his neck so that his forehead pressed against Ronan’s shoulder. He inhaled deeply, smelling Ronan’s cologne and something birdy and a faint memory of green grass and dirt. As always. This was routine.

“You’re alive, Gansey,” Ronan said. “You’re alive.”

Gansey nodded this time, and Ronan felt something calm settle over his stilled blood. Sometimes late nights and dreams about dying left Gansey in a state of wondering what reality was.

“Can…?” Gansey didn’t finish his sentence because it was late, he was tired, he could still feel tear tracks on his cheeks and his hands still shook, and Ronan knew what he needed.

Ronan moved away from Gansey, laying down in bed the right way, and left an arm on the pillow. Gansey laid his head on the pillow, facing Ronan, and Ronan’s arm curled around him. He used his free hand to pull his headphones off and shoved them as carefully as was possible with only one hand over Gansey’s ears.

Gansey curled up into Ronan. He didn’t regularly listen to Celtic music, but something about it made his head stop rushing. He couldn’t hear the buzzing anymore. All he could smell, hear, feel, was Ronan Ronan Ronan.

Routine.

Ronan listened until Gansey’s breathing grew still and calm. He would not sleep tonight, not this close to Gansey with his dangerous dreams. But what was another night of watching the ceiling for Gansey to sleep, his dreams wasp-free? It was nothing. It was routine.

**Author's Note:**

> i havent posted a fic in forever but i'm rereading Blue Lily, Lily Blue before i read The Raven King so all i can think about is my gay raven boys. they all love each other so much and i cry a lot.


End file.
